Lesson 5 - The Pleasure Zones
By Nisandeh and Vered Neta
No-Problem-Marriage-Counseling.Com
Hello Friends,
Pleasure zones?
No, we are not talking about
theme park rides.
We are talking about the numerous parts of our bodies, which
are our pleasure zones.
A man whispering into his girlfriend's ear is
surprised to find her sighing in ecstasy... the girlfriend is equally surprised
when the man becomes sexually aroused as she fondles his nipples. These two
unsuspecting lovers have now entered... the Erogenous Zones.
You may have heard the quip about women having dozens of places on their bodies
that cause sexual excitement when fondled, while men have just that one.
The truth is, most men, as well as women, can
become aroused when their partner pays attention to certain special spots beyond
the genitalia.
You may not even know yourself where these spots are, but
that's OK, because that just makes finding them all the more fun for both of you.
The key to better foreplay lies in the stimulation of the major and minor erogenous zones. When these areas are stimulated in the right way, they trigger the most amazing sensual feelings and sexual arousal.
During foreplay, these sensitive areas of skin can be stimulated by gentle stroking, kissing, licking, blowing or nibbling.
You are probably aware of the major erogenous zones, such as woman's lips,
breasts and clitoris, and a man's lips and penis.
Believe us, it's worth taking the time to discover the more secret and mysterious pleasure zones on your partner's body.
It is important to think of your lover's body as a complete and integrated organism, of which every inch is worthy of loving attention and caresses, rather than a map where specific areas are singled out for erotic arousal.
It's not all about breasts, butt, penis and
clitoris.
The body's pleasure areas differ from one person to another, so the best way to
discover the most erotically susceptible places on your partner's body is with
foreplay, when you can lovingly, teasingly and sensitively explore each other
from top to toe.
Do not be afraid to ask how and where your lover most likes to be touched, and
what kind of stimulation brings the greatest sexual thrill.
You should also try to learn more about your own body's erotic responses, for
this can be a changing and ongoing process of discovery.
Touch games and sensual massage techniques (we'll introduce both in the coming
weeks of this course) are also excellent ways to become familiar with one
another's physical needs and responses.
And regular affectionate stimulation of the skin will heighten its erogenous reactions.
So it's time to get all over your partner...
Today's Practice
There is going to be a whole lot of touching
tonight.
But we are quite sure nobody is going to complain about that.
Men DO Have More Than One
If it seems your male lover only has one erogenous zone - his genitals - it is probably just because no one has ever bothered searching for more. Take the time to explore his body and you will most likely discover several areas that you can manipulate to really turn him on.
His Head. That is, the head that is attached to his neck.
Unless he has this thing about his hair always being perfectly in place, he probably loves having his head massaged and fingers run through his hair. There's a biological reason for this: endorphins, or pleasure hormones, are released when the scalp is massaged.
His Ear Lobes. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them and nibble them and just look what happens. Hint: Don't slobber all over his ears. Make it subtle. You might try whispering or blowing into his ear canal, also. The warm air can be very arousing.
His Lips. Don't just kiss his lips - devour them! Lick them, suck on them, kiss them soft, kiss them
hard... experiment and find out just how serious of an erogenous zone lips can be.
His Neck. This time when you're making out, try necking - literally! Kiss and lick the area under his jawbone and around his Adam's Apple. Alternate back and forth between his neck and his lips. He'll love you for it.
His Back. Women tend to love men's muscular backs, but they also tend to ignore them during foreplay and lovemaking. Admit it, you're the one who always gets the back massages. Turn him around and turn the tables. Knead his back and shoulder muscles with your hands and kiss and lick up and down his spine.
His Nipples. Women aren't the only ones with sensitive nipples. Many men get extremely aroused when their nipples are stroked, tweaked, flicked, pinched, licked and even
(gently) bitten.
His Rear. Men's buttocks and anal region have a lot of sensitive nerve endings. Caress and grab his rear end, slide one finger between his cheeks and massage his anus.
His Feet. All erogenous zones are highly individual, but this one truly depends on the person's view of feet. Many people find the whole idea of someone sucking on their toes or licking the bottom of their feet disgusting. But some men adore the special attention of a foot massage and get excited when a woman sucks, licks and kisses their toes, probably because it is kind of a taboo area. You'll
never know unless you ask...
His Genitals. Of course, but, just to break it down, stroking the base of the penis just above the scrotum (balls) can be quite arousing. The scrotum itself is extremely sensitive and can be caressed and even lightly squeezed if he's not TOO sensitive. The entire shaft of the penis loves to be stroked, but the tip of the penis has the most nerve endings and can be rubbed, gently flicked, sucked and licked.
Women DO Have Many
Compared to men, women tend to be more aware of their own erogenous zones. This may be because they insist on their partners exploring their bodies before intercourse (and men aren't known for their love of foreplay).
But, if you're a man who never realized that women have more body parts beyond breasts and genitals, or if you are a woman who has never been given special attention in other areas, you may be surprised how many erogenous zones women can actually have.
Her Head. Again, endorphins are released when her scalp is massaged. Great ways to turn her on include giving her a shampoo while she takes a bubble bath and offering to brush her hair. Not only will you be concentrating on one of her erogenous zones, but the special, seemingly non-sexual attention will probably make her melt.
Her Ears. Contrary to popular belief among men, she probably doesn't like it when you stick your tongue in her ear. More pleasurable for her is light stroking, licking and nibbling of her earlobe and outline of her ear.
Her Lips. Kissing, licking and nibbling the lips has an equally erotic effect on women as on men.
Her Arms, Wrists and Underarms. Try very lightly stroking the underside of her forearm and wrists with your fingertips or gently raking them with your fingernails. To include the underarm, extend her arm out and lightly slide your fingertips down the inside of her arm from her wrist to her armpit, just barely touching her breast as you pass.
Her Breasts. Obviously. But don't just focus on her nipples. Kissing, sucking, biting and tweaking her nipples feels great, but don't limit your breast play. Gently rake your fingertips around the outline of her breasts and around her nipples.
During more passionate
lovemaking, grab both of her breasts completely in your hands and knead them like dough.
But be sensitive, not every woman likes this maneuver...
Her Stomach and Navel. Many women love to be tickled and caressed in this area. With your fingertips, lightly rake her abdomen in a back and forth motion. Take one of your fingers and slowly and gently draw circles on her tummy and around her belly button. Place your hands on her waist just below the ribs and gently but firmly move your hands down the inner contour of her pelvic bones, toward her genitals
- but stop before you get there. Don't forget the power of kissing and licking the navel and pelvic areas, too.
Her Back. If you don't know that most women would practically kill for a back massage, you've been living under a rock. Massage and caress her back muscles, rake your fingernails up and down her spine and rub her lower back.
This can be done with her back facing you with her either lying down or sitting up, or while she is straddled on top of you during intercourse.
Her Rear End. This is a woman's erogenous zone for the same reasons it is a man's. The many sensitive nerve endings in the buttocks and anal region make this a prime area to knead, caress, lick, bite and even spank.
Her Legs: Inner Thigh, Behind the Knee and Ankle. Massaging and lightly caressing the inside of her thighs can leave her begging you to move up to her genitals. The thin, soft skin behind her knees loves to be gently stroked and raked with fingernails because the nerves are so close to the surface. Just above the ankle bone is a sensitive area to lightly caress and massage.
Her Feet. Learn the pressure points of her feet and reap the benefits. A foot massage can be an extremely sensual experience (remember the discussion on the topic in the movie Pulp Fiction?). Also, try licking the bottoms of her feet and sucking on her toes.
Her Genitals. Another obvious zone, but do you know ALL of the areas of her genitals that can be played with?
Her vulva, or the lips on the outside of her vagina, can be rubbed, kissed, licked or lightly caressed.
Focus on the clitoris ONLY when her body has become sexually alive and receptive, and then caress it with your tongue and fingers to bring her to the peak of sexual arousal.
Watch out for her signals indicating whether she wants you to change from gentle caresses to more vigorous stimulation.
As we mentioned, erogenous zones are a highly individual matter. While your ex-lover may have wriggled in ecstasy when you sucked on her earlobe, your new partner might find it totally annoying.
Explore your lover's body - every nook and cranny
- and find out what turns them on. It is well worth the time and effort if it means a more exciting and erotic sexual experience for both of you.
Enjoy your journey into the Erogenous Zones
and...
Have Fun!
Do you need additional guidance, support or information?
We thought that this
time we quite covered the subject.
Instead of suggesting something to read - we suggest you reserve another evening
(or morning) this week and keep exploring each other's erogenous
zones...
Next lesson
You are going to learn
the basics of touch and sensual massage.
Introducing sensual
massage as a regular event in your relationship is one of the most effective
ways of enhancing physical and emotional communication and deepening intimacy.
You will learn the
golden rules of massage and the basic massage strokes, which will give you
numerous opportunities to touch and touch and touch each other...
Live
Passionately,
Nisandeh and Vered
About the instructors
Vered
has focused on relationship and communication issues as the facilitator of
workshops and individual counseling sessions with more than 22,000 people since
1990.
Nisandeh has focused on relationships, intimacy, and sexuality
issues as the facilitator of smaller workshops and individual counseling
sessions with more than 4,000 people since 1996.
They are the creators and leaders of the Life
Partnership training and Art
of Intimacy and Art
of Relating workshops.
They both write extensively for online
and print magazines around the world.
Copyright © 2003 Nisandeh & Vered Neta.
All rights reserved.
With the exception of one print copy for your own personal use, the copyrighted
material from
The
Art of Lovemaking course may not be reproduced, forwarded, or redistributed
by any means, print or electronic. This material may not be incorporated into
other programs/training.
Disclaimer: All material provided by
Nisandeh and Vered Neta is provided for educational purposes only. Keep in mind that this material is not intended to be a substitute for professional
counseling.
Contact Information
www.no-problem-marriage-counseling.com
Nisandeh and Vered Neta
Wethouder Driessenstraat 157
1107 XJ Amsterdam
The Netherlands
Phone: +31 (0) 20-691 61 22
Fax: +31 (0) 20-609 76 73
E-mail: info@no-problem-marriage-counseling.com
