E-mail Course - The Art of Lovemaking
 

The Art of Lovemaking


Lesson 7 - Sensual Play

By Nisandeh and Vered Neta

No-Problem-Marriage-Counseling.Com


Hello Friends,

Well, if you think foreplay is amazing, wait until you learn about SENSUAL PLAY. You are in for pleasure that's DEEPER, GREATER and more HOLISTIC than foreplay.

Sensual play is an expression of love, a celebration of the playful, sensual and erotic capacity of our bodies and an immensely satisfying experience.

Sensual play is not just about a set of techniques but more a response to, and an acknowledgement of, the whole person in BODY, MIND and SPIRIT which makes you and your partner so unique and special to one another.

It is important to give sensual play the time and space it needs, both outside and inside the bedroom. This will not only nurture and enhance your relationship, but it will also ensure that it remains caring, sensual, warm and erotically alive.

In far too many relationships it's the lack of sensual play that leads to a dull, boring, and non-existent sex life.

Touch and play with each other for the sheer pleasure of it.

Have no expectations - so throw your thoughts and worries about achieving an orgasm out the window!

Each one of you has different sexual responses. Explore with one another what turns each of you on and off.

Learn to recognize your own sexual needs and those of your partner, and enjoy experimenting so you don't fall into boring patterns.

Remember it is not always easy to guess what your partner wants, so be prepared to talk to each other about your likes and dislikes.

Don't be SHY!

Many couples are too afraid to ask to be touched in a certain area. They are just left unsatisfied and miserable.

Well you can change that!

By just pleasuring each other, exploring every part of the body with loving touch and oral stimulation, one can create a deep sexual and emotional connection, whether or not it eventually leads to orgasm or sexual intercourse.

Sensual play can be utilized in many ways.

If you and your partner have just started a sexual relationship, you might use it to increase your partner's confidence and trust.

You might also use it as a gentle but exciting reminder of your presence and sexuality.

You can also just leisurely touch each other so that by the end of the night, you both are dying to make love.

The possibilities are endless. The more creative and open you are with each other the better your experiences will be.

Once you've developed this magnificent talent you will notice a dramatic increase in your sensuality and sexual encounters.

So how do you develop this talent?

Start by simply increasing the number of times you touch your lover.

Touch them whenever an opportunity arises.

If it's just to hold hands, that's fine. When they least expect it, walk up behind them and touch the back of their neck or run your hands down their arms. Give them a hug. Anything you can do to increase the physical contact is good but keep in mind, it's the small sensual touches that will give you the best results.

Once you've started doing this, don't stop... ever!

This is not something to try for a while and then give up. This is a lifestyle change!

For more intimate sensual play encounters, try lightly tracing your partner's entire body. Take special care to go over each curve and outline them from their head to their toes.

You might also try this in the shower by giving them a soft and gentle soap massage. Mmmmm... is that SENSUAL or what!

For a more erotic play, blindfold your partner and use various items to tease them. For example, a silk scarf or feather would work perfectly.

The more daring you both are, the more of a variety of items you can choose from.

The key of this idea is to remember that touch doesn't always have to be with your hands. You can use a variety of elements to increase your partner's sensual awareness, such as your hair, lips, chest, etc.

As we described in the previous lesson, sensual massage also works fabulously. This is an option especially if you are not comfortable with using objects.

However you decide to incorporate sensual play into your life, do it openly. Everything in life is a learning experience. Just have fun with it and remember you're only limited by your imagination.


Today's Practice

How fantastic would it be to take an already exquisite experience and then double, triple or even quadruple it?

No you are not reading incorrectly, this can really happen for you.

Engaging in an all nighter (sounds good doesn't it!) at least once every few months is a great way to infuse some of the early passion you may have lost or put aside because of life stresses.

If you're a new couple, it can be a fantastic way to learn more about each other's sexual preferences.

The number of ways to go about your all nighter are as varied as each couple. Some couple's prefer to prolong their passion until the very end of their experience, while others treat it more as a marathon of sensual experiences. 

Here are few tips you'll want to keep in mind:

  • Make sure you both have the next day free (to laze all day). You'll need it for catching up on your sleep!
     
  • Have an idea of what you want to do the entire night so boredom doesn't become an issue, but don't worry if things don't go as planned. Spontaneity always creates a better mood setter.
     
  • Take it slowly. Remember you have ALL NIGHT.
    Lavish and revel your partner.
     
  • Make sure you have something to eat and drink.
    You don't want your partner to be distracted by the thoughts of being hungry for something other than you!
    Use a bit of creativity and choose food that can be incorporated into your sensual play. Something light like wine, cheese and fruit should do the trick.
    You don't want to have a heavy three-course meal and feel all sleepy and lethargic thereafter.

If you're not sure how to plan an all nighter, use the following sample as a guide.

Remember to keep in mind both your preferences when setting the stage for your night.

The duration of the times where you would make love have been left out to allow for the mood of each moment to shine through.

Your actual lovemaking can take place at numerous intervals during the plan, or the plan can be designed to lead up to a climax of lovemaking at the end.

Sample Guide:

Start your night off with a luxurious bubble bath or a steamy hot shower. Take your time enjoying being next to each other in such an intimate space. (approx. 30 min.)

After you've dried each other off, exchange sensual massages to continue setting the mood for your evening (you do remember last week's lesson, don't you?) Light a few candles, and play some of your favorite sexy music. (approx. 45 min.)

Or

Have your partner lay down on something comfortable. It is recommended that your partner keep their eyes closed or have a blindfold on. Then do the following steps, in order. Each step should take anywhere from 3 to 10 minutes.

  • Lightly blow on various parts of your partner's body.
     
  • Take one finger and gingerly trace your partner's body.
     
  • With your fingertips lightly explore your partner's body.
     
  • Using something silky, like a silk scarf or feather and trace your partner's body.
     
  • Using something slightly damp, like a washcloth or piece of fruit lightly caress your partner's body.
     
  • With your tongue or your lips kiss your partners body ALL OVER.
     
  • With both hands, gently caress your partner's body.
     
  • Then, change over.

Now is an excellent time to find something to nibble on (this may or may not include your partner!) for a while.
(approx. 45 min.)

Pull out your favorite romantic board game, or play a few erotic games such as: truth or dare or strip poker - see more suggestions. (approx. 1 to 2 hours)

After your sensual play put on a favorite CD and share your favorite sensual memories with your partner. Talk about what you like, or what you like to try. (approx. 1 hour)

Now it's time to keep up the momentum with one of your favorite sensual movies like Henry and June or 9 1/2 Weeks.
(approx. 1 1/2 to 3 hours)

When your "all nighter" is coming to a close finish it off by cooking breakfast for your partner. Then give them a final reminder of a night they'll never forget - you!
(approx. 1 to 2 hours)

Total Time: 6 1/2 to 10 hours!

Wow, sounds great doesn't it! Sure you can't wait to try it out. This is what we call TOTAL DEVOTION to one another. No distractions - just the both of you and a whole lot of love!

Till we meet again...


Do you need additional guidance, support or information?

This week's suggested reading: Erotic Games


Next lesson

You are going to sexually pleasure each other for an hour (or more)...

The coming lesson is about learning to say "yes" to sexual pleasure. It's important to learn to receive in order to let go completely, allowing yourself to fully experience pleasure...

Live Passionately,

Nisandeh and Vered


About the instructors

Nisandeh and Vered NetaVered has focused on relationship and communication issues as the facilitator of workshops and individual counseling sessions with more than 22,000 people since 1990.

Nisandeh has focused on relationships, intimacy, and sexuality issues as the facilitator of smaller workshops and individual counseling sessions with more than 4,000 people since 1996.

They are the creators and leaders of the Life Partnership training and Art of Intimacy and Art of Relating workshops.

They both write extensively for online and print magazines around the world.


Copyright 2003 Nisandeh & Vered Neta. All rights reserved.
With the exception of one print copy for your own personal use, the copyrighted material from The Art of Lovemaking course may not be reproduced, forwarded, or redistributed by any means, print or electronic. This material may not be incorporated into other programs/training.


Disclaimer: All material provided by Nisandeh and Vered Neta is provided for educational purposes only. Keep in mind that this material is not intended to be a substitute for professional counseling.


Contact Information

www.no-problem-marriage-counseling.com

Nisandeh and Vered Neta
Wethouder Driessenstraat 157
1107 XJ Amsterdam
The Netherlands

Phone: +31 (0) 20-691 61 22
Fax:    +31 (0) 20-609 76 73
E-mail: info@no-problem-marriage-counseling.com